Here?s a pregnant Jessica Simpson posing nude (Full shot here.) for the April issue of Elle if posing nude means they de-jowled her head and slapped it on Demi Moore?s body because it was cheaper than airbrushing out nacho cheese burns. Regardless, Jessica confirms she?s having a girl, but more importantly reveals I was right about all those times I said she?s a rib-fueled booze funnel:
On her body subconsciously telling her she was pregnant:
?We were goin? to have an all-day drinking binge,? Simpson says, not shy about saying so. ?Gonna ride our bikes, hang out? do naughty things. But I started feeling this overwhelming guilt. Why would I feel guilt at the idea of going out and having cocktails with my friends??
And:
The hardest part of her pregnancy so far:
?Givin? up my Scotch?? she says. ?My Macallan 18? That was hard for me! ? Though now, being pregnant, you crave other things. A big thing of water sounds great!?
While my immediate reaction is to be as concerned for Jessica Simpson?s baby as I am for Snooki?s, Jessica squats on the throne of a billion dollar fashion empire, so you know there?ll be at least a nanny or two who?ll make sure the kid won?t be used as a crab mallet. Whereas the skull on Snooki?s baby?s will have a permanent ridge in six months from popping open bottles of Budweiser or whatever the hell beer Guido juiceheads drink to make Snooki look like something a penis should go into. ?Nope, still looks like a ham carpet. ?Mere, little baby.?
Photos: Elle, Fame/Flynet
Erica Leerhsen Erika Christensen Estella Warren Esther CaÒadas Eva Green
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